Reality #4 ... Your counsel sees your situation as a business transaction that they have done hundreds of times before you ... for you its emotional and your situation is different than anyone else's because it involves you ... reality is ... you are not unique.
How you are viewing the situation is completely different than how your lawyer views it; yes they have done this (hopefully) far more than you have (although I know a few people who could use frequent divorce miles cards), and not every piece of information is relevant or irrelant to your case. I can tell you that the fact that the ex forgot your 30th birthday, and you are still hurt by it has absolutely no bearing on your case now. It is not relevant. The fact that they ran up the joint line of credit just after you split up does matter. It is relevant.
Clients need to understand that not all information matters. Sometimes what we deem as completely heinous just isn't relevant to the process. It won't make the process faster or the other person pay more. If you press the situation it will, without doubt, drive your legal bill up.
Lawyers need to understand that their clients are not business transactions but human beings that are dealing with a multi-system failure (hmmm dare I say arsenic poisoning) that they are trying (sometimes desperately) to get back on-line. If counsel treated clients with a bit more compassion, clients may be a bit more accepting of the process.
If you can keep in mind that you are not unique, that your lawyer has done this before, what you can do to set yourself apart from all the other "unique" clients is to start asking good questions about what is and what isn't relevant and about the process... this approach may have your lawyer seeing that maybe, just maybe, you are the one and only truly unique client in their practice ...
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