Reality #1 ... You are in complete agreement ...

Reality #1: You are in complete agreement with the other party and want the exact same thing.

Eeeeek, that can't be right! We never agree on anything! ...Yup, it's right.... No matter what your friends, family, co-workers and strangers on the street say ... you both want the exact same thing. I am not talking about material items, I am talking about what is at the core of what are actually your true wants. In the end, both parties want (even when the other party does not want to be disentangled) to get out relatively unscathed and to be able to forge ahead to (hopefully) greener pastures. This is the goal, this is what both parties want ... this is rarely what both parties get.

In knowing that you both want the exact same thing, you must also realize that the other party may not have a clue about your enlightenment to this fact. If someone were to ask them what do they want from this process, they would say something like this ... "for the process to be over, so that I can move ahead with my life" ... However, I guarantee that no one, not one single soul out there says... " I hope this costs me as much money as possible and wastes years of my time, so that I can stay in this stress forever, that would be the best!" ... Now, if you do find that one person that actually says and believes this, call the insane asylum they are missing a patient...

It is at this point that I feel it is my duty, to advise that this blog is not giving legal advice or that it should be used as a replacement for proper legal advice (although in all fairness what some lawyers are dishing out really isn't much in the advice department either ... but I digress). What this can be used for, is, as cautions as to some of the more common blunders, errors, and misconceptions that ensue as part of this stressful process. It can be used to help keep focus on the real wants and to stay out of the money and time wasting nasty pit ...It is intended to help forge a better relationship with your counsel and to hopefully help keep costs low, goals within sight and move the process forward in an efficient manner. And failing all that ... to at least give a few knowing nods and giggles along the way ...
C.